Tuesday 25 May 2021

My spiritual journey..God is Good and He is Always There for Us..

 Sefanaia Kau bares his soul and testifies to the goodness of the Risen Christ…

Sefa (3rd from r-back) is pictured with YFIs

When I was younger, I was a promising young soul to my family, as I was good both in academic work and in athletics. Everything was a smooth sail till I reached high school

My years in high school was filled with new things I has never experienced, take it from someone who went to a primary school – 5 mins drive away from his house. The temptations and excitement of this new world was a lot for me to handle and it kind of ruined me, not blaming people around me but the lack of strength and power to take control of my life made it as so, I flowed with any wave that swept my way, I did drugs at a young age, had my first drink at the age 14, for my age group back then it was a big achievement that deserves a medal if you drank at a very young age, surprisingly it is still a big thing to boast about now in today's generation if you drink or smoke at a young age, the younger the age the bigger the man you are.

So it went on like that to the point I hurt my family in so many ways, my father and mother felt they failed to protect me from the world and my brothers were hard towards me to make me stop.

I took all that as a sign that they didn't love me, they did the best they could to toughen me up and break me from the binding spell that held me hostage in the temptations of the world, while all this stuffs happened, I moved out from my family at the age 16 and bunked in with some friends, thou all the tension between me and my brothers grew my parents remained neutral, and my sister always stuck by my side.

For a few weeks I stayed with my friends, their families were very welcoming and caring as always. I finally came home after my father constantly visited my friends place for me.  Things were calm when I returned, my parents both made sure the atmosphere at home was good enough for me to return, I went back to school finished year 11, and than 2017 came where I decided I didn't wanna attend school no more, because of the expectations I knew my followers had for me, I started becoming a problem again for my family, since I had a moment of fame that went too far up my head and this was my undoing, letting it go to my head !

I calmed down a bit when my dad got sick, I started caring again about my parents concerns, but it was a bit too late, my dad passed the same year on October 14 which I tattooed on my arm! I hated my dad for leaving too early, I also convinced myself I was the reason he passed away, most of my relatives told me to my face that I was the reason my father died and this broke me even more, my mother and siblings tried to hold on to what was left of me but I just kept falling deeper into my sadness, I took time out and went to stay at some trusted relatives place just so I can mend myself again but the pain was too much I thought about suicide so much at times, but then finally it hit me, my family are still here, my mother, my sister and my brothers, all of them still care and love me, and I didn't wanna hurt them anymore than I already did, so I went home after jumping from aunty to uncle to aunty trying to find peace and my father! Mind you it took me 2 years to get some peace from my dad’s passing.

 After 2 years of struggle and mountain I decided to go back to School and finish my education in high school so I can move on to tertiary and get a better job so I can care for my mother and siblings the way they did for me! I finished high school last year 2019-2020. Last year was also the hardest year in my 20 years of being alive on this earth, it was the year my mother passed away, my mom had been admitted to the hospital early October last year and I stayed with her in the hospital, skipped school,  sleeping on a wooden bench beside her bed, I even slept on the floor beside her bed. She got discharged from the hospital on the day of her 55th Birthday and we celebrated it at home with the whole family, after that we all agreed for her to stay at her sister’s place till she is fit enough to return since everyone at home was either working or still studying! 6th November 2020 we had a fundraiser dinner for a Youth Group I joined back in 2019, called Youths For Integrity.

That day I didn't go to school so I can go for practice, mom had come home for a visit,  that day we had a small argument about why I didn't go to school, I told her it was alright, it's just a one time thing, as always, after an argument we always sit and laugh at each other’s faces, and think of how stupid the argument was, everything was good between us, we had a relationship that is both weird and amazing, no matter how bad the exchange of words may be, we always sit together after that and just laugh, ask for forgiveness than eat a lot of food!

That same day we went to town, she got me a new phone and dealt with other family matters concerning all of us siblings, that day I told her to wait for me to get a job and I will buy her a big wardrobe and a new shelves and cabinets for her kitchen,

I told her I would be the first to take her abroad for vacation, anywhere she wanted to go, we parted ways in town, I went for practice and then I got ready for the fundraiser dinner for the YFI's that afternoon. Everything went well, we performed the final item, everyone was filled with energy after all the items, it was all joy and laughter.

I came up to my table to sit down next to my two best friends, Frances and Neville, and Neville turned to me and said my sister had been calling, I saw the amount of miss calls, I went ahead and called her back, as soon as she answered i heard someone crying, i knew instantly something was wrong, I begged her to tell me why were they crying, then after at least 7mins into the call, she told me in a low crying voice that mom had passed away and that none of us was there with her when she left; only the 3 men that took her to the hospital stood by her while the doctors tried to revive my mother. It broke my heart knowing the fact that she had to go without any of us around to send her on her way. I cried so much that same afternoon,  the fundraiser dinner had just come to its finale and all I can think about is my mother, I went up to the venue, grabbed my stuffs and my friends and wanted to leave asap, a few of the youths accompanied me, I didn't wanna tell them what happened, as I didn't wanna spoil their night, so we all exchanged goodbyes and I went on my way with my 3 friends Neville, Frances and Gayle dropping me off at the taxi area, I came home and cried alone in the house for hours, I remember sitting next to my cousin and my sister in law trying to hold back my tears while they thought I didn't know about moms passing, I also didn't wanna be the one to tell them that mom passed, we exchanged words and held in our tears, remained strong for each other!

We buried our mother after a few days and it was still the worst day of my life. I was had only a few weeks to prepare for my final exam for year 13. It was honestly a challenge, my mind and soul were not focused,  I tried my very best, I prayed about my exams, I missed my mom, and then with God’s Grace the results finally came out a few months later, it was a pass.

 It didn't get me a scholarship, but still I managed to pass, from that day till now, I have learned to put my complete trust in God, it was by God's grace I passed my exam, I decided to go back to Church - the Church I grew up in, and honestly going to Church everyday made me feel close to my mom, I could feel my mom’s presence and I felt Gods love.

 I have tried to commit whatever little spare time I have, to try and do God’s work, in return with the Hope's I get to change a life and save a soul! It is a testimony I will tell people all the time.

 I joined USP as a private student, my big brother in the village has managed to pay for my semester 1 fees while managing his family of 8, no scholarship means no allowance, yet surprisingly I manage to find my way to school and Church every week, even when we had almost nothing, my God is so amazing. He is truly a provider. I have witnessed it and I will always do my best to live by the Lord.

Mom’s siblings have stepped in to help us. Dad’s family have stepped in to help us, the Church has always been helping us till date, my friends have also been helping me so much lately - all this help I know for a sure fact is made possible by God’s Grace and the goodness in people!

I know I never really talked much about the YFI's, but know that I am grateful, because of them, I met a lot of beautiful souls.

My story has jumped from left to right, but I will say this still, life may give you mountains that looks impossible to overcome, trust that God will give you wings to fly and people around you will either be your boost over your mountains or they will be the anchor that keeps you held down.

Trust in God

Finally I want to leave you with a memory verse to Bless Your Life. I have found it very inspiring in my life's journey.

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you declares the lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

 

1 comment:

  1. Aww, beautiful testimony yaca and yes God is surely good ..♥️♥️

    ReplyDelete

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