I come from a very connected and healthy family where my dad
is an indo-Fijian and my mum is kailoma (half-caste). Kailoma is another term
for half-caste in I-taukei, which is used to categorize people with mixed
ethnic background.
Herleen with members of CEASEY
I am a proud product of inter-marriage but finding my true identity
was a tough journey to battle. I have an indo-Fijian surname that I inherited
from my father while my mother continues to follow her family surname that she
received from her father.
While growing up, I was always in a dilemma of whether to
make an I-taukei or Indo-Fijian friends. It was never an easy decision,
especially in school. If my friends were I-taukei they would eat, share and
give me company during school hours however, when there was secrets being
shared between friends, they would whisper, “Oh don’t tell her, she’s half
Kaindia.” I would feel offended, is it because I have Indo-Fijian blood that
makes people react this way? I would hate it when an I-taukei would call me
“Gigi” or “bhaini” knowing the fact that I can converse in I-taukei.
I will not deny, I had quite a few indo-Fijian friends who
would treat me like their own however, when we had conversations in Hindi, I
would mispronounce and fumble few words like, “Ghora or Gorah” (Horse). They
would make fun of me and say she has a “tehra baar” (frizzy hair). Frizzy hair
is part of an identity for most of the Melanesian countries. Someone who is
mixed with two dominant ethnicities, I was always in confusion and anger. Is it
because I descend two cultures that make people react to me like that? Why am I
treated like this?
There was a point where I wanted to befriend only people
like me. Even though you belong to two ethnic groups, as an individual you are
bound to face racism at every step of your life. My dad shared his philosophy
that only you can find your true identity. Only you can know who you really
are? It was not long that I recognized the advantage I was holding with me, I
am a multilingual; I can speak three languages that most people do not have the
capacity to do so. I have mixed features that make people curious to know who I
really am. You can call me a hybrid or half caste but this who I am and I must
not change myself for the sake of the society.
Soon after, I realized that the society I live in is
pre-dominantly rooted in its strong ideologies that are hard to influence with
modern day practices. Reading journal articles on inter-marriage, long ago people
in the states were not allowed to marry someone outside their ethnic background
and people who went against the laws were executed or murdered. However, today
there is an increase in the number of inter-marriages in the world with people
believing that beyond everything, love prevails. I find myself so fortunate
that these laws were not practiced in the Pacific, especially Fiji where there
is an abundance of different ethnic people.
Herleen with mum and dad and brother Heral
Today, I stand tall and tell anyone who asks me, are you
part? No dear, I am a hybrid, rich with two cultures and languages. You have
something to say? I hope no, because I am a proud holder of the surname “Kumar”
and at the same time proud to have a frizzy hair. This who I am! My identity is
my soul and heart, not how I look like or how I speak. I am writing only a part
of racial discrimination I faced in my life, there is more to unfold but if I
keep digging the past, I am getting no good. This is a highlight of how people
go through racism and it is hard to get out of it.
Today is International day of Racial Discrimination; do not
let anyone discriminate you based on the ethnicity you belong to. Do not let
them bully you, tell them race does not defines us humans but humanity does.
